Culture Shock #44: GOOD Friday?

For all I'm concerned, there is not one good thing about this Friday, at least in the German Christian tradition. I have never encountered a holiday with more rules (and I'm Jewish, and it's Passover, so that's saying something). Nothing kills the vibe like rules, especially when they're invented by Christians. You can tell these are rules invented by Christians too because they suck all the fun out of life for absolutely no reason.

Enough telling. Let me show you. 

Rule #1: Stores closed. Alright, to be honest, this one I expected, although I was surprised that "stores" meant bakeries too (On most German holidays, there are two establishments that are always kept open: hospitals and bakeries.) It's Passover though so I don't really care about bakeries being closed today.

Rule #2: Certain films are not to be watched or played in movie theaters. Films such as Monty Python's "Life of Brian". I dunno about you, but when I read this rule, my instinct was to immediately run to my computer and stream the film illegally. It is deliciously blasphemous. Thanks for the rec, German Christians!! 

Rule #3: NO MUSIC. NO THEATER. NO DANCING. All in the name of grieving Jesus H. Christ after he got nailed to the cross or whatever. See at this point I'm like...whoever created these rules clearly has no experience with grief. Why do you think music and theater and dancing were invented?? What's the point of going on after losing someone you love if you are forbidden from singing and dancing about it? MY BACHATA CLASS IS CANCELLED. I'm *this* close to dancing in the streets blasting "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" just to piss some Germans off. I'm pretty sure I could get in legal trouble for that though. Meh. One comment and I'll do it. 

P.S. In case I haven't yet convinced you that Good Friday is the devil's holiday, here are some helpful charts published in a major German newspaper breaking down exactly when you aren't allowed to dance from Maundy Thursday (I had to Google that) to Easter Monday. It varies by Bundesland in Germany because of course it does. 

 

Like.....WHAT.