Guys...I have something shameful to admit.
I've been buying this red pepper spread consistently since moving to Germany. I put it on everything, from bread to crackers to veggies to pastas. On the jar is the warning: Spicy! When I first moved here and tried the spread for the first time, I laughed dismissively. This isn't spicy at all! How embarrassing it must be to be a weak-tongued German.
Last week, I spooned heaps of my trusty red pepper spead on a piece of matzah, preparing a snack to eat while I called my bestie Elya. As we talked, and I munched, I felt a soft tingle in my mouth. I kept eating, not thinking much of it. The tingle remained. I sipped my water, continuing to chat with Elya and eat my matzah. I felt my body getting warmer, a slight sheen on my forehead. I sipped more water, but the tingle only seemed to intensify. Finally, I took a second to look down at my matzah. What was going on? I dipped my finger gingerly into the red pepper spread and sucked it off my finger. The tingle erupted into a burn.
Oh god.
The spread was spicy.
There are no words to describe this humiliating turn my life has taken. My only hope is to engage in vigorous spice-training whenever I'm back in the U.S.. I'm talking curries, tacos, hot-honeyed pizzas, jalepeño poppers...
...alright. This might not be the worst fate.
No comments:
Post a Comment