Culture Shock #4: Germans water their gardens more than themselves

Have you ever been made fun of for staying hydrated? WELL I HAVE. 

Don't get me wrong, I love a little senseless bullying. I've been known to pick on my friends for microwaving their tea or lousy parking jobs or being Christians. But staying hydrated? How did a bunch of Germans manage to shame me for drinking water?

Apparently, it is a ~distinctly U.S. American~ thing, to carry a water bottle around with you everywhere. And here I thought it was a ~distinctly Jewish~ thing, because I'd rather die than pay for water at restaurants.

Initially, I was very confused about what The Germans were shaming me for this time, because they are known for being super ecoconscious. Shouldn't they be pro-water bottle and against single-use plastics? 

Then, I realized my logical error. It isn't that Germans are anti-water bottle. They are anti-water. 

I don't think I've ever seen a German take a sip of water. At dinner time, my housemates never take glasses of water with them to the table. In the morning, it's tea or coffee. At night, it's (you guessed it!) beer. On the off-chance that a German gets parched midday, they might treat themself to a cold bottle of TV static water. But never. Normal. Tap water. I physically cannot comprehend how Germany isn't full of shriveled raisin people.

What I can get on board with is the German approach to showering - short and infrequent. I find showering every day absurd and unnecessary. Therefore, I am delighted to have finally found people to stink up a room with. 

Come visit me! 😀