A Parisian interlude

I celebrated my birthday in Paris. Here are the culture shocks I experienced during my five-day stay in the city of love, brought to you by my favorite literary format, The List.

1. Parisian pigeons are fat and brave.
2. Parisian restaurants give you free water and it is delicious.
3. Parisian men are very angular.
4. The Parisian dress code (Leather Jacket, Scarf, Sunglasses) is stubbornly independent of weather conditions.
5. A Parisian day begins at approximately 10am. Any earlier and the "city of love" is a "city of ghosts." 
6. Parisions are admirably indifferent towards their responsibilities as working adults. A 15 minute chat with a coworker takes priority over a ringing you up for a single item of thrifted clothing. When you ask an employee at a shoe store for a different size, you will wait 40 minutes before they finally come back and tell you they don't have that size. You will never be sure if they actually checked.
7. Paris has a booming enough economy to support a store that only sells Lebanese sweets. You think every city should have a store that only sells Lebanese sweets.
8. Paris is constantly swarming with police. You think it's a little much.
9. Parisians are unfamiliar with the concept of a smile (what it is, how to recognize one, why one would engage in such a frivolous expression of joy). You are made to wait 20 minutes outside a club event you bought tickets for ON YOUR BIRTHDAY because they think you are too drunk to go inside. You were actually just smiling.